Thursday, 4 February 2016

A YEAR OF BEING SINGLE - A GUIDE TO HEARTBREAK


'How long does heartbreak take?', 'Will I ever have sex again?', 'Am I not good enough?'. Those are the questions I asked myself when the inevitable 'it's not you, it's me' first-ever-break-up scenario happened a year ago today. The answers: about 10 months, yes, and yes you are good enough - just not for him.

It hurts, it really hurts. The following few months after heartbreak feel like you're withdrawing from a drug labelled 'boyfriend'.

Some side effects include:

  • crying hysterically
  • stalking (online)
  • tweeting excessively
  • a desire to drink alcohol
  • over-use of selfies   


The first few months are the most difficult: convincing yourself he was the perfect person with no bad traits, comparing yourself to his new girlfriend and desperately seeking any form of validation whether it's a tinder-match or an insta-like.      




After a two year relationship you learn a lot of things. Yes, he may have written cool indie songs about you and you may have loved his fried egg sandwiches but that doesn't mean it's the end. Listen to some better music and make your own fucking fried egg sandwich.

Wallowing in self pity gets you no where. And while there is something strangely beautiful about listening to Keaton Henson while realizing your partner is now in love with someone else, knowing you were loved prior to the break-up, there comes a point where you have to GET THE FUCK OVER IT. 




Yes, getting the fuck over it is difficult but knowing Miles Kane once checked you out a gig three years ago gives you, at least, some form of hope.         

After a slow withdrawal from 'boyfriend' comes a realization of truth - you don't need to rely on anyone for your happiness. Learning to make yourself happy and doing what you want to do with your life is overwhelming. You no longer need boyfriend. 

So what has happened to me in the past year? A lot. Here's some tips on how to get over a relationship besides 'getting the fuck over it' because if only it were that easy.


1. STOP STALKING
Girls are detectives, we know everything. Who the fuck is this bitch? Has he fucked her? He told me he didn't like brunettes WTF. Why did he like her picture? I recommend that the day he breaks up with you to DELETE. You will drive yourself crazy thinking he's fucked every 'newly added' friend.





2. STOP BEING A BITCH
Yes, it's pretty difficult if he moves on within two months, especially if it's with someone you suspected. But keep your thoughts to yourself, ranting on twitter about her is just mean.

3. LISTEN TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
'Sorry but he doesn't love you anymore' is not what you want to hear from your mum, but the truth needs to be told. It's true, he doesn't love you like he used to. Hearing your family and friends past experiences will eventually help you understand heart break. 



4. GET AN ONLINE DATING APP
Online dating is for everyone - whether you're looking for a quick fuck, a friendship, an alcoholship or, potentially (unlikely), a relationship. What ever it is, dating is a great way to learn more about yourself and what you want in life.

5. GO ON A RELAXING HOLIDAY
Alone time is much needed. After surrounding yourself with family and friends for so long, eventually you need to come out of this comfort zone and spend time with your own thoughts. You might have a little cry behind your sunglasses but hey, at least you'll look good with a tan.



6. GO ON A FUN HOLIDAY
Go on a fun holiday with your best friend. Get drunk, dance to nae-nae, flirt, make yourself sick and do it all over again. Being single is SO much fun, especially if your best mate is single too!



7. DO THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO
I got a fringe, a nipple piercing and I smoked weed. Yeah, they're tame, but I would never have done these things when in a relationship. Not because I wasn't allowed but because I forgot who I was. Now you no longer have a partner to buy for, you can now spend all your money on - that's right - YOURSELF!


8. HAVE SEX
This may not be for everyone, but convincing myself I would never have sex again until I was in love again was LONG. I quickly got over that idea.  

9. TAKE SELFIES
Your self confidence may tend to drop a little after heartbreak. Taking underwear selfies for yourself and yourself only is a great way of realizing the sexy singleton you are.

10. FORGIVE AND NEVER FORGET
OK. So you're never going to forget your first love. But they've moved on and so will you. And you don't have to forget them, just accept the fact that the past is the past and you have a great deal of your life left to live. They were a big part of your life but there is plenty more to life than love.    

 Without heartbreak, you will never appreciate love or emotional songs. 


Sunday, 31 January 2016

SIMPLY SUBLIME


After Eddie Redmayne proved his capacity for reinvention in his performance as Stephen Hawking in the Theory of Everything his portrayal of Lili Elbe in The Danish Girl, directed by Tom Hooper sees a virtually unrecognizable transformation.
The 33-year-old British actor known for his distinct yet beautiful appearance, plays a man formally known as Einar Elbe, one of the first people to undergo sex reassignment surgery.
The film focuses on the relationship between painters Einar and his wife Gerda, played by Alicia Vikander, as Einar slowly transforms into the beautiful red-haired Lili.
After a light-hearted experiment in which Gerda dresses Einar as a woman for an artist's ball, Einar's feelings towards his transformation are apparent. Einar first discovers his hidden desires towards femininity when trying on a pair of stockings in which Redmayne's reaction is beautifully portrayed via Hooper's perfectly executed scene.
Gerda's acceptance of Einar throughout the film is heart warming. Originally finding the cross-dressing a turn on, Gerda encourages Einar's fears he had been repressing. However the film takes a dark turn when Gerda walks in on Einar dressed as Lili and kissing a man.
Lili's relationship with Gerda starts to deteriorate as she searches for self-recognition, moving the audience to tears several times throughout the film. One memorable scene sees Redmayne appear full-frontal nude in the mirror battling with the body he was born with.
Despite the majority of the film focusing on Lili's soul searching along with a great deal of delicate hand-twisting in order to flaunt Redmayne's gender-converting acting skills, the film also explores the corrupt diagnosis and procedures within the medical community regarding identity issues. Although humorous ('I will drill two holes in your head'), the reality hits hard when Lili escapes the hospital out of the window after being diagnosed schizophrenic.
Overall, The Danish Girl is a beautifully portrayed film about an individual clearly born in the wrong body. Despite criticism from the LGBT community who have said the film is not hard hitting enough, the somewhat simplicity of the film allows those to understand the struggles individuals go through. Necessary for the recent Caitlyn Jenner topic.  
Additionally, the mis en scene coincides beautifully with the music written by French composer Alexander Desplat.            

Sunday, 13 December 2015

GET THE LOOK: ALEXA CHUNG


Chung channels granny chic meets sci-fi sleek

In an ensemble which could have only been devised by Miss Chung herself, Alexa showcased her cool yet casual signature style at the Hearst Magazine's third annual event in New York last month. 

As Winter woes set in, "IT" girl Alexa Chung's sweater and skirt combo signalled the return of layering this season. In an oversized baby blue jumper thrown over a metallic silver pleated midi-skirt featuring black lace up ankle boots Alexa channelled her laid back luxurious hybrid.

Here's how to showcase this sci-fi snug look this season.


MORNING METALLICS
LINKS:

If you're after a day time look with a hint of glamour opt for this gold sci-fi pleated midi skirt from Topshop. With an over-sized navy thick-knit jumper, this casual yet chic ensemble channels Chung's style. This cute school-girl backpack from ZARA embellished with gold zips teams perfectly with the metallic skirt while the chunky boots from Urban Outfitters give the outfit a rock chick appeal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MIDNIGHT MEOW
LINKS:
BAG - ASOS - SOLD OUT :-(

For the ultimate 'it' girl night time look, swap the midi to a mini and pair with a ribbed jumper. This sequined miniskirt from Zara shouts sci-fi while the classic navy high neck jumper suggests sophistication. And nothing says Alexa Chung like socks and heels - these glitter frilly socks look super chic with these 70s inspired platform black suede sandals. Add a bit of fun to the outfit with this Charlotte Olympia inspired body bag - so cute! MEOW